What Not to Wear

I don't have cable right now, and I miss this show a lot.

However, regular trips to the LAFitness on City Ave keep me in full supply of the best part of the show, the clips of horrible and/or horribly fitting clothes. Now, I understand...its a gym...you're (theoretically) working out, sweaty, and not in your finest. I am not a matching-outfits-at-the-gym type, and don't expect anyone else to be. That being said, let's discuss some of this past week's finest:

• The shorts over leggings look. I generally disapprove of leggings, except for running outside and yoga, but I know they're in style so I try to give this a bye. And I know people with hip anxiety sometimes do this for coverage. However, there's nothing stylish or concealing about wearing gray soffee shorts that fit you more like Brazilian cut panties than shorts over black leggings. Sadly, the girl who wears this to the gym also likes...
• Showing off the belly button. As is likely to be agreed by anyone who has ever worked an event at the Tweeter Center, any shirt through which a casual observer can clearly see your belly button (especially if there's no piercing to draw attention to it) is way too tight. Which brings me to...
• Spandex. Just because it can stretch enough to fit you does not mean you should wear it. This is even more important for non-spandex materials.
• The short short. On males. New Years Resolution time draws a lot of people to the gym who haven't worked out since college. If you attended college in 1983, it is best to invest in new shorts, even if the old ones still fit. This will prevent people from thinking - even for a split second - that you borrowed your 16 year old daughter's cheerleading shorts.

got these in my email

And I love them.

Where was this mousetrap when I needed it? And I thought mice didn't actually like cheese because of the sugar content...was that some mice-preserving LIE when we were told to use peanut butter?? hmm....

And this is simply a PSA (ignore the unpleasant wording). Really, you don't look cool and it takes a lot of my self-control to not fix it for you.

The Mullet

In Philadelphia on a dreary "spring" day in 2007, I saw what I believe to be one of the most impressive mullets in the world.

Since I (sadly) don't carry a digital camera all the time, I must describe it (Google Images won't yield anything even close):

20ish male with dirty blond curly-ish hair about 2 inches long

from the front: a bad lack of haircut/semi-mop, as is popular with the college-aged artsy and/or trendy set

from the back: waist length dreadlocks...but only from the region that at one point in time would have been used to create a tail...

more 80s return

So I'm innocently watching tv, and a commercial comes on...

"I've searched all over New York, and couldn't find a Bedazzler"

WHAT? What? I haven't even heard that term since I was in the 3rd grade.

Appeaently the Bedazzler is back. "Sparking rhinestones and gleaming studs" (How great is the product when you're advertizing the thing holding the "stone" to your clothing?) The ad goes on to say you can Bedazzle cardigans and jeans for under $30 each, saving tons of money from the designer versions.

I wonder who will buy this. They didn't even say New and Improved.

Additionally...

Ugg boots were NEVER attractive, especially not with short skirts (how is chopping off one's calf and one's thigh around the widest part of each flattering to anyone?). Hence, the new furry version of the Ugg is ALSO not attractive. Not with short skirts. And not with spandex pants.

Seriously people. Spandex pants (except on a track or in the gym, possibly) were a bad idea in 1986. They're STILL a bad idea twenty years later. Only like 0.5% of the population can pull them off. The very skinny look extra emiciated in them (if you can see your knee tendons through your spandex, you're too thin. Are you reading this, girl-who-I-keep-thinking-is-going-to-keel-over-on-the-treadmill?). The rest of us just look like sausages, for one reason or another. If you happen to be in the 0.5% that has amazingly well proportioned legs of good tone et al, well, spandex away, but please have the curtosy to do it with a tunic (::stiffling a gag::). I don't want to be able to read the tag on your panties.

spotted

I saw a few things on my way to campus this morning that demand comment. (And as I am obviously a fashion queen, I feel entitled to do so). Sometimes these moments make me I had a camera, but I find it a little creepy to take photos of strangers. There's been several of these semi-creepy people on the river trail lately, making me wonder if there's a huge art class somewhere requiring action shots of joggers. But I digress.

Seen today:
1) girl wearing cropped tights (sigh), pointy flats, a jean mini, and a teeshirt declaring "Dare to be Different". Ironic, no?
2) girl who was very obviously coming from the gym, smoking a cigarette. As she was already immensely thin, I have a feeling it was lunch.
3) (this was actually a week or so ago, but its noteworthy) homeless lady in my neighborhood yelling LOUDLY at random people, including some in cars, as she passed them. She called me a "DIRTY COLLEGE WHORE". Guess the rugby teeshirt and running pants tipped her off.

Whistler

I want to go snowboarding in Canada. I think it'd be sweet. And less crowded than even the fairly empty (compare to NJ) mountains of Colorado. But that's not the point of my post, just came to mind when I put up the title.

Why do men whistle at women?

This is the question of the day.

I am dressed for work today in summer work clothes, specifically black capris, wedges and a nice colorful shell. I do think its a flattering outfit. Appearently I'm not alone.
The shopping center where I picked up lunch today is doing some construction. There were workers gathered around the dumpster, several of whom whistled at me (well, either me or the rather chunky middle aged guy about 10 feet in front of me, equal opportunity perhaps?) What is their goal in whistling at women? Do they expect the women to stop and give them her number? Flash them? Grab one and plant a big wet one? I chose none of these and opted to ignore them and walk on by.

I've been whistled at before. A couple of times on the street doing [whatever], more frequenrly when running. There's also the occassional honker. I can only assume these are the obnoxious teenage boys that feel the need to call attention to the fact they are old enough to drive. (I am trying to give men some credit here). Honkers tend to startle me and I don't like them much.

I guess in general I should take the whistling as a compliment. But I still don't understand.